POWr Social Media Icons

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Unmetal Photo Submission: And with LEGOS on our Side, We are Victorious


Today's Unmetal Photo Submission was sent in by TNM reader Finn Dekker. Finn writes:

"My mate and me, some time ago. We were doing a school presentation about one of the most metal subjects: Scandinavian/Norse Mythology. But we also had some really unmetal stuff going on. To represent Vikings we used LEGO. That's Unmetal enough to me..."


Yeah, I agree that there's a lot of unmetal things going on here, such as utilizing a popular plastic children's toy as a visual aide to help teach your fellow students about something as deeply rooted in true metal inspiration as Norse mythology. That's not all you did though. You also brought a little wooden sword with you for your presentation, to show your peers that vikings also used swords, and that if swords were really little and made of wood, that's what they'd look like. Also, the Amon Amarth shirt is a nice touch, albeit an extremely ham-fisted attempt at relevancy.

EDIT: And of course, the poster for Ensiferum's Blood is the Price of Glory in the back. Thanks Sean Hill.

However, for all the unmetalocity we're looking at here, both you and your pal are completely redeemed in your actions within the realm of epic, balls out, true heavy metal, without even realizing it. Consider for a moment, the fact that there aren't many things more metal than not giving a flying lily fuck about school or your education. There's no way around it from the solid evidence we're seeing here: you guys definitely thought up, as well as completed this project in no less than 20 minutes of uninspired laziness. This was clearly thrown together either the day before, or perhaps even the day of this project being due. I also like to imagine that you're doing this presentation, when you were supposed to be doing a book report on To Kill a Mockingbird instead.

Great job guys! For his unmetal photo submission, Finn Dekker shall receive the grand prize of a D- for the semester. 


Have any photos of you and your poseur friends acting unmetal? You can either submit them to the Wall of the TNM Facebook page, or you can e-mail photo submissions to brenocide[at]thatsnotmetal[dot]com. If I like your submission, I will feature it here on the blog for everybody in the metal elitist community to laugh at. Except laughing isn't metal, so we're just going to scowl and judge. 

28 comments:

  1. I forgot this was still going.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ok, so it's a Lego viking ship--
    http://cache.lego.com/images/shop/prod/7018-0000-xx-12-1.jpg

    Which, yeah, is unmetal enough. But all the rest of that shit is clearly Playmobil, which is so much worse--
    http://www.collectobil.com/images/items/5712.jpg
    http://www.collectobil.com/images/items/3157.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  3. NotWorthyofMetal7/14/2011 10:14 PM

    I like LEGO. But as my name suggests, I'm not worthy to be called Metal.

    ReplyDelete
  4. NotWorthyofMetal7/14/2011 10:26 PM

    But I find it a little odd how it's okay to run in the woods and play with swords, but not okay to recreate battle scenes with plastic toys. But, I don't really know much about what is and isn't Metal other than what you've taught me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Do you guys mind if I cum in here?

    ReplyDelete
  6. European Elitism7/15/2011 12:25 AM

    @Cyanide

    Please aim for my mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well obviously plastic toys looking like a viking don't look as brutal as running through the woods whilst looking like a viking.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "This was clearly thrown together either the day before, or perhaps even the day of this project being due."

    You are correct. We could round up some LEGO from an unmetal 'friend' of mine, like, two hours before the presentation.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hahaa! Thet title got me laughing for several minuits!..
    And yeah, I guess here the cause justifies the means...
    (Also Bren you got to do sth for comment submission. I used to post through google and now I fall into some endless login loop or sth. ABME's site seems to be working good with google though)

    ReplyDelete
  10. ...actually scratch that last remark. It was my glitch

    ReplyDelete
  11. Them shits is Playmobils, not Legos.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is ridiculous. The reason this is unmetal is not the legos (legos are metal as fuck), it's because you're children.

    ReplyDelete
  13. European Elitism7/15/2011 7:42 AM

    I don't appreciate people posing as me in this or anyother blog. I am here to expose the false because people need to know that TNM, Brenocide, ABME, MetalSucks, are all a bunch of phoney bologna. Stop talking about ejaculating in my mouth and having a horse dick shoved up my ass. You n00bs will never understand me, and that's fine.

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Ultra-Violence is written by children and that album is metal as fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Too late European Elitism, you already swallowed my salty load.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Brahs. You aren't going to believe this! Jonathan Davis is on the new Suicide Silence record! Finally Nu-metal and Deathcore join forces.

    ReplyDelete
  17. NotWorthyofMetal7/15/2011 12:03 PM

    @BlowUpEverything
    Well, I guess buying LEGO as a grown man and not giving a fuck who judges you is Metal. Also, I think it would depend on what type of LEGO it is.
    Construction Site=NOT METAL
    A Battle between Orcs and Vikings=A little less Not Metal.

    ReplyDelete
  18. thefamilyghost7/15/2011 1:28 PM

    Call it unmetal if you want, but you guys are clearly knowledgeable about good metal for being so young. Granted Amon Amarth is one of the most popular bands in Europe, but still, thats pretty metal to me.

    ReplyDelete
  19. HAHAHA NEDERLANDERS!!!
    sorry it says HAHAHA DUTCH PEOPLE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. @J
    *blows load in face*
    You might want to clean yourself up.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Haha yeah they are Dutch, Bekker is a very common name here in the Netherlands. I hope you guys went to Neurotic DeathFest, that is the best festival the Netherlands have to offer.

    ReplyDelete
  22. What you gon' do with all that junk?
    All that junk inside your trunk?
    I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk
    Get you love drunk off my hump

    My hump my hump, my hump my hump my hump
    My hump my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps
    Check it out

    I drive these brothers crazy
    I do it on the daily
    They treat me really nicely
    They buy me all these ICEEs

    Dolce &Gabbana
    Fendi and Adonna
    Karen, they be sharin'
    All their money got me wearin'

    Fly gear but I ain't askin'
    They say they love my ass ?n
    Se7en Jeans, True Religion
    I say no, but they keep givin'

    So I keep on takin'
    And no I ain't taken
    We can keep on datin'
    I keep on demonstrating

    My love, my love my love my love
    You love my lady lumps
    My hump my hump my hump
    My humps they got you

    She's got me spendin'
    (Oh)
    Spendin' all your money on me
    And spendin' time on me
    She's got me spendin'
    (Oh)
    Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me

    What you gon' do with all that junk?
    All that junk inside that trunk?
    I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk
    Get you love drunk off my hump

    What you gon' do with all that ass?
    All that ass inside them jeans?
    I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
    Make you scream, make you scream

    'Cos of my hump, my hump my hump my hump
    My hump my hump my hump, my lovely lady lumps
    Check it out

    I met a girl down at the disco
    She said, ?Hey, hey, hey yea let's go?
    I could be your baby, you can be my honey
    And let's spend time, not money

    I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff
    Milky, milky cocoa
    Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky right

    They say I'm really sexy
    The boys they wanna sex me
    They always standing next to me
    Always dancing next to me

    Tryin' a feel my hump, hump
    Lookin' at my lump, lump
    You can look but you can't touch it
    If you touch it I'ma start some drama

    You don't want no drama
    No, no drama, no no no no drama
    So don't pull on my hand boy
    You ain't my man, boy
    I'm just tryn'a dance boy
    And move my hump

    My hump, my hump my hump my hump
    My hump my hump my hump
    My hump my hump my hump

    My lovely lady lumps
    My lovely lady lumps
    My lovely lady lumps
    In the back and in the front
    My lovin' got you

    She's got me spendin'
    (Oh)
    Spendin' all your money on me
    And spendin' time on me
    She's got me spendin'
    (Oh)
    Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me

    What you gon' do with all that junk?
    All that junk inside that trunk?
    I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk
    Get you love drunk off my hump

    What you gon' do with all that ass?
    All that ass inside them jeans?
    I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
    Make you scream, make you scream

    What you gon' do with all that junk?
    All that junk inside that trunk?
    I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk
    Get you love drunk off this hump

    What you gon' do wit all that breast?
    All that breast inside that shirt?
    I'ma make, make, make, make you work
    Make you work, work, make you work

    She's got me spendin'
    (Oh)
    Spendin' all your money on me
    And spendin' time on me
    She's got me spendin'
    (Oh)
    Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me

    So real
    So real
    So real
    ?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Me, the original Cyanide, hasn't posted a comment in over a month. I just came back from a business trip to Texas to find a hundred comments made by people posing as me. I don't even know what to say other than I'm flattered that all these kids like my name so much but a bit disappointed in the pathetic uses of it. Are these supposed to be trolls? Whatever, I guess I'll choose a new name now.

    ReplyDelete
  24. "A business trip to Texas"
    Whatever helps you sleep at night.

    ReplyDelete
  25. WTF? Okay, me the REAL Cyanide has been away for the weekend. I come back to see people posing as me and claiming to be me. I didn't post any comments because I was at a tranny convention. It was fun except when I was leaving a black guy told me to suck his cock or else he would steal my wallet. After I sucked him he took my wallet anyway. I would of went to the police with his semen but I swallowed it. I would throw it up but there is too much jizz in my stomach so it would be impossible to tell who's it was. Anyway fuck the poseurs.
    - 8========D

    ReplyDelete
  26. No, you fucking cocksuckers, I AM THE REAL CYANIDE! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALLLOOOOOONNNEEE!

    Also European Elitism is gay.

    ReplyDelete
  27. kingcarcas13497/17/2011 8:42 PM

    lol wtf my hump? Didn't even notice the sword at first, it is indeed metal if the presentation was supposed to be about something completely different. So which is more metal Playmobil or Lego?

    ReplyDelete
  28. @Cyanide
    I lol'd when I clicked that hyperlink.

    ReplyDelete

All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.